The Importance of Crying

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Photo: health.com

Some people cry too much, some people cry too little, and others…well…they don’t seem to cry at all. But then again, one has to ask, is there a problem with crying too much, too little or not at all? Let’s find out.

Regardless of the level of tears each and every one of us shed, you must know a rule of first importance: Crying is normal and culturally, socially and psychologically acceptable.

Why do humans cry?

Odd as it may seem when compared to other mammals, or to other earthly beings, period, the ability to cry is what sets us apart from the rest of the earth, and it is what makes us human. Scientifically speaking, “[o]ther animals may whimper, moan and wail, but none sheds tears of emotion--not even our closest primate cousins [according to the Evolution Theory]. Apes do have tear ducts, as do other animals, but their job extends only to ocular housecleaning, to bathe and heal the eyes. But in our case, at some point long ago, one of our ancestors evolved a neuronal connection between the gland that generates tears and the parts of the brain that feel, sense and express deep emotion.” (Why Do We Cry? by Chip Walter, 2006, scienticamerica.com)

The more obvious reason for crying is to express our emotions, such as sadness, happiness or anger. The tears are the secretory evidence of what we are feeling in the moment. Even babies, although they do not usually secrete tears in their crying, in the early months after their birth, also cry because they are expressing emotional feelings. Maybe they are hungry, wet, or sleepy. To cry is their way of expressing themselves in language other than words.

We must cry

Crying is beneficial to us emotionally and physically, the same way laughter is. “Many people have found that crying actually calms them after being upset, and this is in part due to the chemicals and hormones that are released in the tears…. The largest tear gland, the lacrimal gland produces the tears of emotion and reflex. Many believe that the body, in times of emotional stress, depends on this gland to release excess amounts of chemicals and hormones, returning it to a stable state." (Why We Laugh and Cry, by Wendy Norland, Gibbs Magazine.com).

Based on this, there may no such thing as crying too much, in terms of the benefits of doing so. It’s better to cry as much as you wish, and all you can, rather than walk around with pent up emotions, fooling yourself into thinking that “I’m bigger than that”—crying, that is. Release the stress and bring your hormones back into balance, so that your body has one less thing to worry about in its day-to-day functioning. Also, it doesn’t mean that if you do not cry as much as others do, something is wrong with you. Each of us are uniquely affected by the same experience or feeling. What may make you cry may make me laugh.

People who do not cry?

Every normal human being cries at least once in his or her lifetime. No doubt, some people hardly ever cry, so much so that it appears as if they don’t. At the same time, some people cry over minor stuff and not over major things, and vice versa. Some people use to cry a lot, but find that as they grow older, little by little, they cry less and less. Eventually they start to wonder, “Hey, I haven’t cried in a while. What’s wrong with me? “I feel numb. I feel dead inside.”

Perhaps, as we mature, and having gone through various challenges, hurts, disappointments, etc., we learn to deal with these emotions differently, that is to say, we at least decide that crying is not one of the ways by which we will deal with our emotions. This is okay, as long as we choose healthy ways of solving emotional issues. Storing them up is forbidden!

Significantly, though, emotional numbing and denial are two factors which may cause people to appear to lack emotions because of a progressively developed inability to shed tears. They, in effect, hold their pain and negative emotions hostage. This lack of outward show of emotions does not mean that such persons do not cry inside. However, internal crying may be worse because the pent up feelings are not getting out. Trying containing a volcano. If an explosion does not occur, you bet, an implosion will. Stored emotions can in turn transform into intense anger, rage, resentment….

At the end of the day, whether you cry too much or too little, it is important to cry. It would be difficult to fathom a human being who never cries. But some of us cry far less than the average person or far less than the average, normal amount of times within a certain period, or throughout our lifetime.

We’ve got to cry—we must. It is important that we do. You know you want to cry. You want to get those emotions out, but you’ve been putting it off. You tell yourself you’re tough, no need to cry. Do yourself a favor, lock yourself away from the world, enter into your personal space, in privacy, and cry. The pillow, squeeze it tight, if you have to. No, not punch. No punching.

You will find that you feel much lighter and relieved when you’re done. If you must, “[l]et the pain cry first, and don't let it interact verbally with other people. As much as possible, bring the feelings to a safe and private healing place, with someone you trust or alone, with a pillow and a box of Kleenex….Until you've cried the pain and can feel the relief of healing, you need to treat yourself and others carefully.” (Why Can't I Cry? How Resistance, Avoidance and Acting Out Thwart the Emotional Healing Process, cyquest.com)

You were born to cry. Cry. Be courageous and cry, and then let your sunshiny smile shine afterwards. Remember, what you don’t fix stay broken until you fix it.

When was the last time you cried? Do you know it's healthy to cry? Share your comments below.

You may wish to read :

Why We Laugh and Cry by Wendy Norland

Why Do We Cry? by Chip  Walter

Why Can't I Cry? How Resistance, Avoidance and Acting Out Thwart the Emotional Healing Process

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