by Stephanie Tru, Relationship Coach and Guest Contributor for Woman to Woman Blog Talk
Hello Ladies
- I’ve listed below my top ten tips for a first date. Noting that I say is law, but I’ve lived and learned and want to share what I’ve done, both good and bad. Lets go !!
Tips for a first date
Ladies
1.) First impressions are very important as well as lasting, so put your best foot forward. Keep your hair nice and neat; nothing too over dramatic or high fashion. If you’re going to put extensions in, keep it classy, and make sure the color choice suits your skin tone. I can’t tell you how many men I’ve interviewed have said they instantly get turned off when a woman’s hair is “doing too much”. This could mean extremely long weave that mimics a rainbow. When it comes to hair and makeup, less is more. If you want to add a little length, then cool, but 12 inch extensions will do: not 18 inches! And let’s keep the colors within 1,1B,2,4. I’ll even let the 27, 33, and 6 slide, but this is only if your skin tone matches those shades.
On the makeup tip, don’t look like a china doll. Makeup is to enhance and at best cover up imperfections: not to double as Lil Kim. Everything in moderation.
2.) Dress appropriate to where you’re going. Don’t show any cleavage or wear anything too revealing. You can cover up and still be sexy. Resist the temptation to put on your freakum dress. There will be a time and a place for that and the first date isn't it. If the guy you’re out with can’t look across the table at you and envision you at thanksgiving dinner with his parents, family and friends, it’s a wrap. Most men have been told by their moms “Don’t you bring any trash in my house”. If you carry yourself in a manner that would bring shame to him rather than praise, he’s probably not going to pursue you for a long-term commitment. Don’t strike out on the first date just because you wanted to be a bit sexy. Have some class and cover up.
3.) Keep your heels at a reasonable height. A 3-4 inches heel is acceptable on a first date. It disgusts me to see women stumbling around because they are trying to get their “runway” on. I’m all for your attempt at becoming America’s next top model, but calm that down on a date. That’s all I’m saying.
4.) Make sure you’re nice and fresh. Take a shower or bath before any date, and don’t over do it on the perfume. A nice body mist will do just fine. Some men can’t handle really intense smells, and you don’t want your date 50 feet away from you all night. My personal favorite is Vera Wang. Works every time.
5.) A beautiful smile is very attractive, so make sure to brush and floss before your date. I like to carry a travel size toothbrush and mouth wash in my purse so I can freshen up after a hearty meal. This might seem like a bit much, but men have told me they’ve run into plenty of women with poor oral hygiene on a date and they appreciate the women who go above and beyond to keep that in check.
6.) If you’re going out to dinner pay for the meal. “Oh no,” most will say, but trust me, it will leave a lasting impression and will set you apart from all the other women your date has gone out with. This should be done genuinely and even if he refuses to let you go ahead and still offer. It says a lot about you and whether he ends up paying or not, he won’t forget the gesture. Most men have never gone out with a woman who offered to pay for anything. Yes, I understand that he’s the man and should pay, but nothing is wrong with showing your date that you appreciate and enjoy his company. Rather than sex later on to show your gratitude for the lobster and wine, just pay for the date. You notice I didn’t say pay half or pay the tip. It’s all or nothing. Go for the gold! Again, I say most men won’t let you, but it’s the thought and good intention that sticks out. Differentiation is the key to getting your dream man to pick you out of all his other prospects he’s probably juggling.
7. If a man opens your car door when leaving somewhere, after you’re in and he shuts the door, reach over and open the door for him. It shows that your courteous and have manners. I promise this will get you a second date, if it’s a good man. I’ve done this and it works every time.
8.) Under no circumstances do you have sex on the first date. I don’t care if you think you’ve met your soul mate. The quickest way to end up in a “jump off” category is to give it up before a man has any real feelings for you. He won’t see you as being respectable if you do so. Most women who give it up on the first date don’t go on to run off in the sunset: Some do, but the likelihood that it will happen to you is slim. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s all love.
9.) This is an old tip which is hardly followed. Do not go into detail about your ex boyfriend. If you do and discuss it a little too long, with too much emotion, you might give your date the impression that you still have unresolved feelings, and most good men will not take you serious if that’s the case. This is what men like to call baggage and being emotionally unavailable. Most men don’t want to hear anything about your ex. They might engage you but trust they’re out to enjoy time with you not hear you yap about your ex, how crappy he is, or how you gained 20 pounds after the breakup. He doesn’t need to know all your business and why all your past relationships failed. Less is more when talking about your ex on the first date.
10.) If you’re on a really good date and neither one of you wants it to end, DO NOT propose going to one another’s place to watch a movie or just hang. This almost always leads to some sort of sexual behavior and it’s too risky. Y’all know what happens. You go over to his place or your place; you pop in a movie and get comfy on the couch. You might get 30 minutes in to the movie before he starts kissing you on your neck and offers to give you a “massage”. You’re tense, so you take off your shirt and let him go to work. Ok Pause. Ladies, you know damn well that you’re going to be thinking more thoughts than about tension in your back when his hands are all over you. Then he suggests you take off your bra because, hey, he can really get to work if your whole back is exposed. Don’t fall for the bra trick. Happens all the time, and usually women have no intention of doing this type of stuff but, hey, you get caught up in the moment.
You want to stay respectable in his eyes and a respectable woman knows when to end the night even if she’s having a good time. Resist the temptations!
Just keeping it Tru.
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What are your thoughts? Can you identify with any of these first dates do's and don'ts? Feel free to comment below.
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