Top 3 Reasons Why Women Cheat and How to Avoid this Taboo Act

Written by Zoe Mendez Writer for Woman to Woman Blog Talk

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This article is not al all encouraging women, married or single, to cheat. Please understand the objective here.

Why do women cheat? Why does anyone cheat as a matter-of-fact? These are questions we have ask ourselves and at some point or the other. Cheating on the whole is probably one of the most controversial topics ever discussed. Unfortunately women’s cheating is no longer taboo, women are cheating just as much as or equally as men do. While cheating by both parties has been around for centuries, from a woman’s perspective it was something that was more or less kept on the down low.

When I thought about the topic I heard this song sung, A Woman Needs Love, by Ray Parker Jr. and I thought, “Wow! It’s ideal, this song is so keeping it real.” The writer explains “A woman needs love just like you do, don’t kid yourself into thinking that she don’t, she can fool around just like you do, unless you give her all the loving she wants... Don’t make the mistake thinking old fashion, times have changed from yesterday… No longer will those old double standards be accepted by the women of today. So when you think you are fooling her she just might be fooling you, remember if you can do it she can too.” Hop on Youtube and check it out when you can, beautiful song loaded with truth. This is so applicable to what the deal is these days.

One of the things I never understood about cheating is why does the other person who is the cheater think it is okay and acceptable.

I was of the opinion at one point in my life that two people who really love each other and are meeting each other’s needs above and beyond have no reason for introducing a third person into their relationship. Oh boy! How wrong was I. I discovered that love has nothing and everything to do with cheating, and sometimes it is not even about sex. Human beings are naturally attracted to one another, the weaker succumb and the strongest conquer. That’s the bottom line. If it was normal and accepted in society, I’m sure both men and women would openly have multiple partners. As a matter-of-fact, the reason(s) behind why anyone cheats can be endless depending upon the individuals and what is going on in their lives.

Women, like men, cheat for a range of reasons, which might or might not however be for the same reasons why men do. Women will cheat due to loneliness, need for attention, need for emotional intimacy, unsatisfactory mate, experience romance and trill of sexual intimacy, and to feel wanted, needed, and desired. Here is Zoe Mendez's top 3 reasons.

Neglect

When I examined some of the reasons behind why women cheat, NEGLECT is at the top of the list. Too often in relationships women feel neglected by their partners. I am not sure why guys think it is okay to go hanging with the boys on a Friday or Saturday nights, leaving their fine woman at home all by herself, or for her to go hang with her girls. I guess it is be because half the times they are up to no good. Sometimes the story behind why she is not allowed is so much crap, even a kindergarten kid can see through the lies. Some women have no idea how it feel to really be appreciated, what it feel like to be told, “Honey you are beautiful”, or “Babes, I love when you wear your hair up”. It’s not about being told what to do and how to do it, but when you are in a good place with someone you automatically do things a particular way, because you know it makes the other person happy. Bare in mind that happiness should be two fold as a result of the one act.

Women love attention, she feels better when she knows her man is really into her, another part of Ray’s song says, “when her eyes are begging for affection don’t put her off don’t make her wait... don’t try to give her that worn out excuse about being tired and working late". Gentlemen should be very mindful of their stories, and I am sure all of us would agree the excuses are worn out and very lame, this is so dam true. Women are not stupid we know when we are getting a six-for-a-nine story. Some of us are disgusted by you when you insult our intelligence with a lame story. This is what it does, it leads to resentment and we loose respect for you. Then we get to the point where there is no longer any trust. These feelings open doors for all sorts of things to happen if the woman is not conscious or strong enough to say to you, “I’m not taking any more of your crap!” The feeling of being neglected often lead to not feeling appreciated. I don't believe that women are weak and would run off with the first man who gives her the attention she so craves from her partner. In most instances, it is a series of casual moments that can lead a woman into the arms of another man, especially if she is in resentful or feeling neglected by her partner mode. Guys are generally not known to take an active role in the emotional flow of their relationship. But constant and consistent communication about those issues can help to lower the risk of your woman stepping out on you.

Unfulfilled sexual pleasure

Unfulfilled sexual pleasure in a present relationship is another reason that is big on the list. I am not pointing the blame at anyone here, but it is a fact that there are women with children who are in a marriage and has never experienced an orgasm. The first time I spoke to such a woman, I was in awe, and she has six children. I was shocked. Then, asked myself, “How is that even possible?” She explained that her husband was often drunk, and it seems to be more about him releasing himself. Unfortunately he died, and fortunately for her, a vacation lead her to meeting her next husband and several orgasms, orals included, she told me all about her toe-curling experience—the stuff you read about in novels, if you have never had the experience....

There are women who have never experience any kind of intimate pleasures associated with making love. I am amoung the group of people who believe that sex is a special gift given to us by God not just for pro-creation. Sex should be considered to be very important in a relationship. When two people get together, sex is one of the elements that can drive them apart or bring them together (too much or too little or none) depending on the situation. There are a lot of women who, like men, sex is high on their list of non-negotiatable desires in a relationship. It's a way for us to express our love and affection for each other in whatever intimate way is comfortable for both parties. Some men are so busy dogging their woman, often times because of another that he forgets that he has to be considerate, pay attention to, and explore his woman so he can learn what makes her tick, and so that whenever they get together pleasure is distributed equally. If her void is being filled by her man at home, then the chances of her creeping out on her relationship is slim to never.

Then there are those who because of their economical disposition or their love for the finer things in life, they would have a partner or two outside of her primary relationship so that her needs are met. For her it may not be about love, sex, or intimacy. (I’m not sure how this works.) I guess these are the women guys refer to as ‘gold diggers’, but they love them that way… Ooops!!! Yes I said it… just keeping it real. This woman will get all up in your curry just because she can, and is allowed and would not give two hoots about the fact that the man is happily married with a family. She is all about getting what she needs without the responsibility of having to care for him besides giving him ‘some’, here and there. Others would give it up just because he drives a nice car that she can be seen in with him.

Getting Even

Women also cheat to get even with their partner. This I believe is the most dangerous part of cheating. I can understand that sometimes when a person is hurting, they loose all logic for reality and its consequences. This gives meaning to the statement, "hurting people can be nasty". When revenge is the motive behind cheating, then she will aim for the person closest to her man, more often his brother, best friend or a close relative. The backlash is a lot of other people get hurt in the process. Sometimes a woman can hurt so deeply that she has no rational reason left, so she lashes out doing the unthinkable.

I know someone who got caught-up in the "I will never do that" syndrome. I will call her ‘Miss Judgemental’. While not every woman who gets caught up in an affair sets out to be in one, there is a very thin line; it is a very, very innocent something that can over-shadow you and before you know it, you are doing the unthinkable. The interesting thing is a happily married woman can be sucked into an affair if she is not conscious even though she would have convinced herself that can never happen to her.

Here is a scenario. A male friend may innocently start confiding in his married female friend about his troubles with his relationship. Talking on the phone once in a while increases to speaking to each other every day. They may meet for lunch once or twice, all innocently. I can't say what causes it and how it happens, but sometimes there maybe a hidden agenda by the male. There may have been a mutual secret attraction that does not surface until you start spending time with the person. If and when it comes to one’s consciousness, it should be nipped in the bud. If it's left unchecked, you can find yourself in an intimate situation and you don't know how you got there and how to get out of it. Flesh is weak for even the strongest person. One should always try to avoid being alone with someone you are attracted to, because anything can happen, if presented with the right moment and caught in the right frame of mind.

While it is okay to have friends of the opposite sex, one should keep a close eye on the nature of the relationship. It should be transparent and you should not be spending time together alone if you know your feelings for each other is or likely to be developed beyond plantonic. If there is trouble in your current relationship, avoid confiding in your male friend. If there is a need to speak to someone outside of your friends circle, speak to a councellor, female pastor etc. One always have to be super conscious at all times as there is no one reason that leads a woman to cheating.

Remember temptation should never be taken for granted as it is likely to happen to anyone. Never say, “NEVER”.

See also Five Married Women on Why They Cheated (external link, Yahoo)

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