From one of our readers/followers
Here is a repost of a comment left on our Wordpress blog http://woman2womansite.wordpress.com/ We found it interesting enough to share with our readers. The young lady was responding to an article titled: “Why Do Some Women Stay in Abusive Relationships” by sharing her own experience with emotional, psychological, and (what may amount to) sexual abuse.
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| Photo:hakiyetu.org |
"I am so glad I found this site. 17 years ago, I left an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship and vowed I would never let myself think about it again. In the past few weeks, I find it rearing its ugly little head, and feel I really need to deal with it or I will never be happy again. All of the things that I've read in this blog are so true. The men isolate you from all your friends so you are alone, and belong only to them (in their mind).
I had no idea that anyone else felt like this. Really, no idea. Or maybe I just didn't let myself think about it. I locked it in an emotional safe and forgot the combination.
I had no idea that anyone else felt like this. Really, no idea. Or maybe I just didn't let myself think about it. I locked it in an emotional safe and forgot the combination.
The man I was with started out as romantic, passionate, caring, demonstrative, and we had the best sexual relationship ever. I had no idea it could be that good. But that good became bad after about 10 months or so as he would pick fights with me because he loved make-up sex. It was like being raped after awhile but no slapping or hitting... just wearing me down until I submitted. How could I do that? I have always been a strong woman who never let any man boss her around. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. And the funny thing is, I don't like using the word 'stupid', but after that relationship I have been using it a lot. I think that's the first thing I'll change as of right this minute.
I was blinded by his words, always telling me he loved me and saying how beautiful I was. I was a good looking woman, so I didn't really need him to tell me I was, but he did it so often that I guess I grew to like it. Also, the I love you" all the time, that blinded me.
And here is something interesting; he was trying to make me think I was crazy. He would mention a movie and say “remember how we laughed at it” or something like that. The first time or so I really wondered if I had forgotten it. But as time went on I made sure I remembered everything so I wouldn't have to wonder, and he did it to me again and again. Telling me I had said things a couple of hours before, and I knew I didn't, because that would not have been something I wanted to do or say. He was evil. And he did it all in the pretense of being super religious. Wow.
So, I'm coming back to this site and I hope other women find it. I have a lot of healing to do and forgiving of myself, because some day I would really like to have a nice healthy, happy, non-abusive relationship with a man. That would be nice. But I'm not settling ever again. And I am so critical of men who are nice to me now.
Women need to band together. We are strong and we deserve to be treated right. That's the truth.
I love you all, my sisters. We can all get through this together."
Miss Anonymous
Have you been in an abusive relationhip. Are you in one right now? Get help! Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You're not alone and there are people waiting to help you!
Also feel free to share your story with us by commenting below or emailing us at womantowomansite@gmail.com
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