By Olivia J. Scott
For some older
women in their late thirties to mid-forties, being able to date younger men is
quite a compliment let alone an accomplishment. If you are a “Cougar,” there
are a few things to bear in mind when dating a younger man to avoid blowing it.
1. Be open minded
Approach
dating a younger man knowing that you likely have accomplished and experienced
more than he did. This is because you have a longer history. With this in mind,
avoid making him feel less than you by repeatedly telling him you know
“everything.” This doesn’t mean that you should downplay your accomplishment.
However, make him feel like you are interested in his experiences and that they
are important to you. Speaking of experience, he is likely to have more energy
and a higher sex drive. This should not cause you to worry that he will leave
you for a younger woman at some point. Many young men enjoy the maturity of a
woman and her knowledge of love and intimacy.
2. See your age as an advantage
Keep in the
back of your head that this young stud is with you because you are older. He
values what you bring into his life in terms of experience and stability. Catching
a fit when you and your man in the presence of younger women shows signs of
insecurity. Similarly, trying to keep up with fashion trends of the younger
girls, drinking and partying had and trying to maintain a skinny figure by
becoming a gym rat can be a turn off. Maintain your cool and confidence, wear
age-appropriate clothes and enjoy going to age-appropriate places and events.
This will make your cub glad he chose you. This way he gets to enjoy a richer
more mature experience than if he was dating a teen or young adult gal.
3. Make him feel like the boss
Whether or
not you’ve accomplished more than him, have a better job, own a house, or drive
a better car, your rule of thumb is to always make him feel like he’s the boss.
A man’s confidence is built on his ego. He wants to know he has worth to you.
You can express his value in your life by allowing him to do things that men
generally want to do for their woman. If he chooses to, allow him to pick up
the tab at dinner. Let him drive you to your destination. Allow him to make
important decisions. Let him initiate intimacy sometimes. Your submission will
blow his mind and make him feel wanted, every time!
4. Don’t try to be his mother
Even though
he appears to be just a boy, resist the temptation to speak to or treat your
young man as if he is your son. Avoid talking down to him or correcting his
knowledge or grammar. Things like always telling him what to do, cleaning up
after him, checking in on him often to see if he is “ok,” and always paying his
bills can make him feel like a child. Even though he may be less financially
stable than you, you don’t necessarily need to be his “sugar mama.” This can be
an insult to him and make him feel less of a man. It can also push him away,
since men generally prefer women who are less bossy and more submissive.
Cheers to a
long-lasting relationship with your young cub!
